What if...?

I sit here late at night, bored out of my mind. Then, my mind starts thinkin' about stuff...old and new...

I remember a time when I would be on the phone, or talking to friends, or even hanging out somewhere. Now I sit here thinkin' too much. Gettin' older sucks...

I went outside to enjoy the Houston snow for a good 45 minutes. Took me back to bein a kid. Felt great. Then I come back inside and realize that I'm still 23 years old. Still goin' to school for the ump-teenth year, and still workin' too hard for too little. It can be considered jealousy, but I see it more as envious...when I think about my friends who are fortunate enough to have cushy jobs, while I have to bust ass outside, no matter what the weather is.

Somewhere along the line, I probably could've got a better job. I basically gave up 2 years of my life when my grandfather was real sick. I devoted a lot of time to him at the house. It cost me about 1.5 years of my college education, a few friends and family members, and even a great girlfriend. I don't regret any of it...but there's always that thought...what if I would've went another route?

I'm just hoping all the help I gave my grandfather will somehow pay off in the future. Even after his passing, I do a lot for the rest of the family. It's sad when the older men, my uncles, act as immature as high schoolers. Then it takes a toll on my mom, which really pisses me off. I'm just dreading the day that I have to speak up...because no one is gonna like what I have to say.

I'm just hoping something comes along soon enough. My life has been on a constant cycle for the past two years. Time for something new...

Perfection Strictly Enforced

Y'know...for a good while, I've heard girls say, "I want 'this and that' in a guy, and looks don't matter." Don't worry, ladies... I know guys say it, too, so I'm not judging ONLY based on girls. But I've gotten the bad end of it recently, so bare with me.

I don't know what age it was, but now you're required to have some sort of qualification for a girl to even give you a chance. The last girl I ended up with was because I felt an attraction to her, and we hit it off from there. I didn't know much about her, but after breaking the first barrier, it was all good from then on. Talking, a lil more talking, and yeah...more talking. But it was by simply taking a chance how we hit it off. No one takes chances anymore. They'd rather wait for someone who LOOKS like Mr. Right. No one says it up front, but looks are most important. If they weren't, an average joe would always land the girl of his dreams, and Mr. Right would always sweep Raggedy Ann off her feet.

I guess I'm to the point where I'd have better luck paying for a 2-dollar blowjob, than I would finding a nice girlfriend. I wasted a good amount of time on a girl who gave me every sign of wanting, at least, a friendship. A classmate, but a potential "friend." I call the girl a couple times about maybe going to dinner. I don't even get a callback, nor do I even get a "no, thanks." Now, I'm 23-years-old, not 12. I can take no for an answer. I've gotten used to it over the years. But she told me "Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot to call you." Really? I mean, really? Three times in a row? All I did was ask for dinner. It's not like I asked for laser tag and 69. I mean, it's not like I'd FORCE her to play laser tag. Anyways... Ha.

It's shit like that that'll get a girl labeled a tease. Then, the girl has the audacity to ask me, "why haven't you called me in awhile?" The stare on my face was probably something similar to when you have a look on your face like "what the hell stinks?" I could only give a chuckle, and say, "oh, my bad. I forgot." Didn't wanna be a dick, since I really liked the girl, but I have that gift. Heh

I also got used recently. A girl I liked for a long time had a boyfriend, at one time. I was under the impression she broke up with the guy. So one night, one thing led to another, and you get the picture. I took that as us having some sort of relationship in the works. I find out a couple days later that she never even broke up with the guy. So in a way, it's worse than being used. And guys are supposed to be pigs? Geez.

It's funny to hear girls ask "aren't there any nice/normal/mature/suitable guys out there?" Well...aren't there any nice/normal/mature/suitable girls out there, as well? It's a two-way street, people.

Nice guys don't finish last...we aren't even allowed to run the race...=/

I'm baaaack...

Y'know...it's been a lonnnng time since I "got my blog on." So where've I been...?

Right here, as usual...

I still go to school at Cy-Fair College, but now it's a part of Lone Star College, instead of North Harris blah-blah-blah. I got out of the interpreting program a couple of semesters ago. I was just about done when they decided to change the requirements. Instead of it being it's own degree, so to speak, it would be a part of something else. In other words, I would need a degree in ANYTHING to even try for the interpreting test. So, I decided to just go for something with a more promising income. I decided to get certified in CAD, or Computer-Aided Drafting, for those who don't know. I'm just about done, and it feels great. Taking the last few classes I need, and then HOPEFULLY I'll have a job lined up. From there, I hope to get back into UH and go for engineering. All a bunch of hopefuls, but I'm keepin' at it.

Work is still the usual. Yet, now I don't even get to do the manual labor. My boss, AKA Dad (Ha), is so behind on his paperwork, that I'm stuck catching up for him. I honestly miss being out in the field, gettin my hands dirty. Gettin' my sweat on, working with tools, etc. Now that I'm almost caught up on the paperwork, I might get laid off. Pretty whack, but that means I can focus on school next semester. Might even go back to working for the anti-christ, CVS.

Home life is the same crap. Family problems. I hate how it affects my mom. She wants to be peace-maker, but it's all for naught. But other than that part of the family, I love spending time with my lil' cousins, Bella and Sophia. I'm gonna spoil the crap outta them this Christmas. Spent a few bills on them, alone. Ha.

Well when I'm not doing one of the above, I'm usually bored out of my mind. I'll either be at a pool hall, or sitting around at the house. I'm hopin' to catch up with old friends, soon enough. Tired of feelin' like I let friendships slip away.

People who've read my blogs before know that this very atypical of me. haha. I usually rip into someone or something. But, I'll get to that sooner or later.